Wedding Save the Dates: When to Send and What to Say (2026)

A save the date is a promise you can't take back. It carries almost no information — two names, a date, a city — but everyone who receives one now expects an invitation, and withdrawing that later is one of the few genuinely unfixable mistakes in wedding planning.

That single fact decides most of the questions couples have about them: who gets one, when it goes out, and what it should say all follow from treating it as a commitment rather than a courtesy. This guide covers who belongs on the list, how to time it around the guests with furthest to travel, what to leave off deliberately, and wording you can adapt.

Who gets one

Only people you are certain you will invite.

The temptation is to send widely and decide later — it feels generous, and the list isn't final yet. It's the one thing not to do. A guest list almost always shrinks when the venue's real capacity arrives, and the people cut are the marginal ones you were least sure about, which is exactly who you'd have sent a speculative save the date to.

So build two lists. The certain one gets a save the date now; everyone else waits for the invitation, and nobody is any the wiser. One thing to settle at the same time: if you're inviting someone with a partner, say so on the save the date. "And guest", or the partner's name, decided now, saves a conversation later about whether the invitation was for one or two.

When to send

There's no correct number of months, and the rule-of-thumb answers you'll find are usually American. The useful question is: what does the guest who has furthest to travel need to do, and when do they need to do it?

For a guest crossing the Tasman that means flights and a few days off work. For family flying from the UK or the Philippines it means annual leave booked well in advance and a fare that hasn't doubled. For guests in the same city it means almost nothing.

Send early enough that your most-travelled guest still has real options. If your wedding is in a place people have to make a trip of — Queenstown, the Bay of Islands, the Hunter Valley, anywhere that fills up in season — treat accommodation as the constraint and go earlier again, because the guest who can't find a bed is the guest who doesn't come. And you can send in waves: overseas guests first, everyone else once the date is firm.

What to say, and what to leave out

A save the date has one job: get the date into someone's calendar. Anything that doesn't serve that job is an opportunity to be wrong later.

Include: both your names, the date, the city or region, and a line saying an invitation will follow.

Leave out the venue unless the contract is signed. This is the most common regret — a venue named on a save the date and changed afterwards means correcting every guest individually.

Leave out timings, dress code and the registry. Those belong on the invitation and the website, where you can change them without reissuing anything. A registry mention on a save the date reads badly for the same reason it reads badly on an invitation: it arrives before you've asked for anything.

Say if it's a destination wedding, plainly, in a line. Guests need that context to start budgeting, and finding out later feels like a bait and switch.

Wording you can adapt

Keep it short. These are structures, not scripts — put them in your own voice.

• Plain and warm: "[Names] are getting married in [city] on [date]. Invitation to follow."
• A little more formal: "Please save the date for the wedding of [Names], [date], [city]. A formal invitation will follow."
• Destination, said up front: "[Names] are getting married in [place] on [date]. It's a trip, so we're telling you early. Invitation and travel details to follow."
• Date not fully fixed: "[Names] are getting married in [city] in [month, year]. We'll confirm the date shortly — an invitation will follow."

That last one is worth knowing about. A save the date naming only a month is far better than a firm date you have to move.

Paper, digital, or both

Both work, and they're not really competing — a save the date is the one send where digital's advantages are least contested, because there's nothing on it a guest needs to keep.

Digital reaches everyone the same afternoon, which matters most for exactly the guests a save the date is for: the ones booking flights. Paper is a keepsake, and for a small number of guests who don't use email it's the only thing that will land. Sending both, to different parts of the list, is normal.

For most couples the save the date is also the first time a guest sees the wedding's website, so it's worth having something worth arriving at — see the best wedding website builders for Australian couples, and how digital invitations work for the sends that come after this one.

How to set this up with Amella

A save the date that matches your site. The email is built from your theme's own palette and typography, so the first thing a guest sees looks like the wedding rather than like a notification.

The venue is left off by default. Amella's save the date carries your names, the date and the link, and nothing else unless you add it — the safe shape, by default, for the reason above.

It remembers who it has been sent to. Each guest is marked when their save the date goes out, so sending to everyone only ever reaches the people who haven't had one. Add guests in a second wave and send again; nobody gets it twice.

The details catch up later. The save the date points at your site, so when the venue is signed and the timings settle, guests who go back find the current version without you resending anything.

You can build your whole site, design your save the dates and publish free, with RSVPs from up to 15 guests and no card required. One payment when you're ready to invite your full list: Wedding Pass $149 AUD or Premium $229 AUD, NZD at parity.

Frequently asked questions

How far in advance should we send save the dates? Far enough that the guest with furthest to travel can still book flights and leave at a sensible price. There's no fixed number — a local wedding needs much less notice than one people have to fly to, and accommodation in a busy region is usually the real constraint.

Do we have to invite everyone we send a save the date to? Yes. That's the whole weight of it — a save the date is read as a commitment, and taking it back is far worse than never having sent one. Send only to the guests you're certain about.

Should the venue go on the save the date? Only if it's booked and signed. Naming a venue you then change means correcting every guest by hand, and the save the date's job is the date, not the place.

Can we send save the dates by email? Yes, and for guests who need to book travel it's the version that arrives in time. Print a few for people who don't use email reliably, and point both at the same website.

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